i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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