In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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