"it" just moved
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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