That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
