just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
you never un-have a 4some
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize