plz talk dirty to me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Found the puke drawer
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
