pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
my penis made a compromise with my morals
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
