So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
