So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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