The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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