Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
