I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
