i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
