Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
