I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So squirting runs in the family.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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