I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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