We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
