Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i dont even know how to be here
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
