i used baking grease as lip gloss
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
