It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
