You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
