Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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