I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
