I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
