I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
