Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize