I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
