I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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