Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
