so explain again why im purple
no
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
