with your own penis?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
