Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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