we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
