Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize