my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
