I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
