you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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