I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize