this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
