The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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