Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize