Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
