don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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