i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I will pee on everything he values.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
