White coat. Heels.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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