Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
