Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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