he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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