You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize