sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
pray to the hookup gods
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
