i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize