i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
