3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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