I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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