we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
