did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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