Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
