Me. At least after what I've been through.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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