How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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