i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
