I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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